Worst sex ever

Ello there, long time.. Today I’m gonna write about the worst sex I’ve ever had


I’m not gonna name names and I’m not shaming the guy. He had a big dick and he was well built.

So, we had been dating for a few months and I figured it was time to take things up to the next level..kkkk. So I invited him over to my house for a sleep over. The previous day I literally turned the house upside down, cleaning every corner making sure it was spotless! I event went to the hair salon, got an expensive weave, had my nails done etc etc etc.. I went as far as buying brand new lingerie. Oh, and went to the shops to buy expensive steak and luxury groceries I never ever buy. I cooked like a 5 star hotel chef that day!


Then he arrived. We sat, chatted, laughed, had the 5 star THREE COURSE MEAL. Afterwards, we then went to sit on the couch and watched a bit of TV. We kissed passionately and touched each other. He fondled my boobs and squeezed my butt. Everything was going well. I thought it’d be better to take the action to the bedroom so I left him on the couch to get the bedroom ready. I got some wine, placed it in a wine basket filled with ice. I sprinkled some rose petals on the bed, wore my new lingerie. It took about 10 minutes and then I sat in bed and called him. There was no answer. I called him about five or six times, still no answer. I got up and found him fast asleep on the couch! Ha ha da!

Attempt #1

I tried to wake him up several times and failed. He was quite tall and big so there was no way I could have helped him to the bedroom. I thought okay fair enough the guy’s tummy is packed with all that food so his body has to shut down in order to digest it. I leave him on the couch and head back to the bedroom to listen to music. He woke up an hour later, came to the bedroom, apologised and we get things going. I was on top of him and kissing like crazy. But this time, he seems like he’s wasn’t really into it and we were only about 5 minutes in so I ask him kuti what’s wrong. “You’re squashing me” he replies. WHAT?! All the sexiness I felt about myself completely evaporated and I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. My mind went blank. Could he not have shifted positions? He could have asked to change it up? Why oh why he chose to word it that way is beyond me because I only weigh about 60kgs. I do not have a giant body. It put me off because I felt like I was doing everything wrong.

Attempt #2

After 30 minutes, we start going again. Again, around 2 minutes in, he seems distracted, detached and not into it. Again, I asked him what’s wrong. “I really need the toilet”. Ah! I started losing patience with him. I smiled, calmly laid to the side and let him go but deep inside me I was shouting at him. I felt like shouting, “WELL JUST FUCKING GO TO THE TOILET THEN YOU BASTARD”!

Attempt #3 

Third time. We started getting into it again. What can go wrong this time, he’s used the toilet and I’m firmly on the bottom where my “giant body” won’t crush him into the mattress. But still, all is not well. He can’t get it up this time. It’s properly soft and sleeping. I tried every trick in the book to get it up and even tried the tips written by Sugar Dick Dupree, but NOTHING WORKED! I felt powerless, unattractive, stupid and dumb. I thought okay maybe he’s nervous and wants to be the one in charge so I simply kiss his neck and whisper for him to do whatever he wants with me. I tell him not to worry because we’ve got all night. BIG MISTAKE! His reply was “Oh my days, what’s up with you?! You’re putting SO much pressure on me”. My goodness me! He then got out of bed, went to the lounge and sat on the couch. A few minutes later, I heard the front door slam shut and HE HAD LEFT THE HOUSE!


I’m just on the bed, mouth wide open with shock and confusion. What the hell just happened? I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I never felt so stupid in my life.